With the Bath Half Marathon approaching, I cannot help but wonder about how I will be doing. This training cycle is different from what I have been doing in the past few years. It’s a more personalised, flexible approach, but it is new, and the unknown is scary. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I know I shouldn’t be scared because if you want different results, you have to input something different and get out of your comfort zone, but I cannot help it (which is super silly because it’s just running at the end of the day).
The thing is, I am not the only one whose race season is starting soon, and with that comes a massive wave of comparison, which reached its peak last night. Am I doing enough? And I running enough, pushing myself enough? How is this missed workout going to impact my performance? All of this is very ironic because a) I am comparing myself to some people who are not even doing the same races as me b) I have always loved running because it’s me vs myself and not anybody else. When I came back from the London winter run, both my housemates asked me how I placed. This really made me laugh (sorry guys) because I couldn’t have cared less about how I placed. I don’t go to a race to compete with 10,000 other runners, I go to give my very best and compete against myself. Thankfully, I have some pretty amazing people in my life that can help me push away the negative thoughts so I can remember why I am doing this.
This weekend, I caught up with a very good friend I had not seen in a while. She mentioned how she was still following my adventures via the blog but that she was feeling lazy for not belonging to the 6 am club or exercising as much. Don’t. Perhaps I don’t share my struggles enough here but as you see, I can also be full of doubts. It’s not always all glory and I too also belong to the eat three donuts a day, watch Gray’s anatomy instead of revising anatomy, miss my workout, have a 15 min nap that transforms itself in a 150 min nap* team sometimes.
So where do we go from now? My other half told me “Just don’t do it. Get some sleep. It doesn’t mean they are happier than you”. So true, right? So now, lets take a deep breath. And another one. And remind ourselves that we all have different goals, ambitions and priorities. And that’s ok.
"Comparison is the thief of joy" Theodore Roosevelt
* Yep, these are real example from last week.